theholtsite

Ubu, Mighty Hunter

Ubu’s had glimpses of the outdoors before, enough to meow at the door occasionally. I don’t want to make him an outdoor cat, but I figured it couldn’t hurt a few times in the winter, when he’d be too cold to stay out long. So he’s been out two days in a row now. Today, as I went to get him and bring him back in, I found Ubu on the porch with…. a head.

Now, I’m not sure if he killed it or not, but he hasn’t been able to provide an alibi. And he was pretty excited, rubbing against me, eating, and batting around the bird head.

All doudts as to Ubu’s killer instinct have been erased. As for evidence, like feathers or little bird feet, we haven’t found any. But Ubu’s not meowing for his dinner, either.

  1. Kerris

    heh heh ubu…you also lick your butt.

  2. Renee

    Okay, cat. I may have to suggest to your owner a nice neuter appointment at the vet’s.

  3. Ubu

    Pathetic humans…

    Ecclesiastes 3:21:
    21 Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”

    Indeed.

  4. Renee

    Yeah, well…. You don’t have a soul. Take THAT!!

  5. Ubu

    This is why humans are pathetic life forms. They exist only to serve cats, and it’s our noble right to abstain from contributing to your primitive plebe society – as if we’d want to. Nor is it any use arguing with you, since your base minds are only made for serving us.

  6. Renee

    Okay, Ubu. If that’s the way you want to play, that’s fine by me. No, we humans don’t catch our prey with our thumbs… But we DO contribute to society with them! We are the ones who thought up and built those guns and refridgerators you’re mocking. We can hold jobs, build houses, etc. And what do you do? Well, let’s see… You are a lazy cat. Do you work? No. You lay around the house consuming the food your owners buy for you. You contribute NADA to society, and burden those who have to take care of you.
    Sorry, buddy, you’re playing with fire.

  7. Ubu

    Yes, you disgusting humans would bat your food around too if your food BIT BACK. But no, you have grown soft by eating frozen, processed, and prepared meat! You humans wouldn’t know what to do if someone took your guns and refridgerators away. Catch some prey with your nice thumbs? I think not.

  8. Renee

    Umm… Not so tasty. Pretty gross in fact.
    P.S.- Ubu, at least humans EAT their food. They don’t kill it and bat it around. And also, you don’t have thumbs. Take THAT, my friend.

  9. Ubu

    Vile… that’s a word used to describe filthy humans. Cats are a triumph of nature, killing only what we need and doing it masterfully. Humans, on the other hand, waste and pollute to excess. They also seem to think they are above cats. This is why humans will soon be extinct.

  10. Kerris

    Ubu doesn’t seem so royal now…eating bird heads…how vile.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *