theholtsite

I Object

I must post a correction to the previous post. Cats do not “go crazy” as you humans suppose. Rather, we practice diligently for the moment when our deadly claws are in reach of delicious prey. You humans know nothing of the hunt (you get all your food from a store) – we cats must keep our lithe bodies in top condition.

Additionally, when you mentioned those family members you were thankful for, you failed to mention having a feline master who is gracious enough to not eat you in your sleep. Your lack of respect is duly noted.

  1. Ubu

    Yet another human scheduled for termination… I’m quite certain the world would be much finer without the lot of them. Rather than dignifying your pathetic attempts at mockery, I shall give you a taste of my claws.

  2. Kerris

    hmm cat, I’m starting to believe that you are not worthy to choose any human to be your servant. After all, you are a being that plays catch with a fake feather atop a plastic stick. Doesn’t exactly sound like the actions of royalty. If you were such noble, you would be able to go outside whenever you pleased. But instead, you only get to when your master lets you out. And have you even killed anything worthy yet? Didn’t think so. Perhaps you could start with those worms that appeared in your litter box.

  3. Ubu

    You foolish human, living in the present day has boggled your puny mind. You do not choose to be a servant to a cat. He chooses you. I shall, however, accept your sacrifice.

  4. Kerris

    Ubu, I bow to your every desire. When I come to visit Ben and Jill, your servants, my only wish is to please you. I love cats, I would like to be a servant for one myself some day. Maybe I’ll bring you some salmon or shrimp next time I visit…

  5. Ubu

    Quite. As you’re the only human reading these forums with half a brain, perhaps I should arrange for Ben’s replacement with one who understands and adheres to their station.

  6. Rebecca

    Oh. I had no doubt that you were in control, Ubu. It is those “parents” who I think might need clarification.

    😉

  7. Ubu

    Let’s make this as clear as possible, human. When you are in the presence of a cat, you are in the audience of royalty. Period. Your pathetic ideas of “owning” a cat are absurd.

  8. Rebecca

    I’m confused. Jill and Ben seem to think that their your parents…but you have clearly stated that you are their Master. I’m not sure how the power structure is set up in your house.

    🙂

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